It's really a crying day for me today. I am leaving now to go to church with two dear friends of mine. I am catholic, but today I will go to a different church for the XMas celebrations.
One of my 180s is also showing that I care. One of the things I lack during my M was to speak out and let my H knows that he was very important for me. So, it may be wrong for DBing, but he also see that I have been changing.
H knows I am in therapy to clean my demons that will allow me to let people love me. He said last wed that he has faith in me, that I am a loving and kind person but that I keep hiding it somewhere.
So, I guess for my sitch it was not so bad to let him know that 18 years have value to me.
About my GAL activities. I need to get real with it. I need to get out of my comfort zone and do more stuff.
And the whole detach has been my big issue, I feel it very hard to detach from my H. I didn't even know how dependent I am on him.
I need to be honest with myself and do it. I keep giving excuses to let go. I really need to get down to the job.
I have been feeling overwhelmed though, dealing with those feelings from the past get me a little frozen. It's like being two persons in the same time.
