Received the following e-mail from P on Wednesday, 2004/02/25...

Quote:



Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 6:47 PM
Subject: (no subject)

Hi,

I have already told you how I feel and how sorry I was for my part in the
deterioration of our marriage. So I won't make you read all of it again.

I know you said you think your settlement offer is fair. I don't see how you
can say that when some of your premarital stuff isn't counted and mine is, but
what the hell, I am giving you the horses, my wedding rings and more of the
house stuff to make up for what your attorney thinks I ought to pay you that
makes 3 times the salary I do.

If I leave obviously you will get pretty much everything in the house so will
have to refigure to pay me for the some of the contents rather than me pay
you as much.

I'm done. I can't take anymore of you running with the bitch, at least once
she wins and the divorce is final you will start to bore her; but right now you
are the prize and she has to win you, I thought that is the way she was
probably looking at it and that is what the psychic said about her that she can't
believe you married me over her and she has been jealous ever since.

I would have continued the living apart and you figuring yourself out for as
long as it took if you hadn't had to start flaunting her in front of people. I
wondered if you wanted it to get back to me as a way to hurt me more. That is
something I never thought you would be capable of is to deliberately hurt me
this badly.

I guess a part that also hurts is the very things you told me you didn't like
about me she is much worse about and it isn't like you don't know how she is,
maybe not all of it, Glenn and I have discussed more in depth than even I
knew. I have no idea why the man stayed with the woman. I guess because he
doesn't believe in affairs and divorces.


Hope you feel better, I figure she is putting lots of pressure on you right
now to make sure you don't cancel another court date.

I don't know why, the psychologist has asked me why, but I still love you and
would have stood by you no matter what happened to you, just so you know I am
not anywhere as close to as selfish and shallow as the woman you are leaving
me for.

I will probably stay on the Zoloft as long as I can and then talk to the
doctor about going off of it as I know I won't be able to afford the prescription
or my teeth or glasses or any of that kind of stuff in the future.

I mostly hope you are happy with her, because I love you, I think she will
crush you, but that had to be your decision which of us you wanted to be with.
I can't wish her happy knowing she sat out to deliberately destroy our
marriage. You know how badly this has hurt me but have never even tried to excuse her
or explain how my two best friends turned on me. I guess you wouldn't have
wanted to know if John had turned on you like that, or else you just can't even
bring yourself to talk to me to try to help me deal with all of this mess. My
husband and two best friends laughing at me and writting emails to make fun of
me behind my back. I saw the one where Janice was laughing at me and Denise
was hateful about Lucy. Does she know this is life threatening for Lucy and
will not end pleasantly? Does she give a damn about anyone but herself?

Ok, I ran on. But this is all tearing me apart right now and I felt you
should know that the threads you read on the bb I experienced a lot of the very
same feelings and emotions you read about while trying to deal with the affair
and my friends and you.

I don't know if you have realized it even but I believe I can see progress in
your communication some. As frustrating as you are to try to talk to at work,
I do believe if you would talk outside of work that you are better. I am
glad for you as that is good for you, I hope you finish finding yourself.

I would appreciate hearing some thoughts back on this email very much. It is
so brushed off feeling to pour your heart out and not hear anything.

I realize this is probably a REALLY SUCKY email, but I was very emotional
when I wrote it. Not thinking logically nor able to write a nice clear
email.

Take care,

All my love,

Pam

The shells say HI they are at my feet.






Guess I'm not too sure what to think or how to respond at this point.

CoolHandLuke