Busting this Divorce - Moving Out

[HPoirot]

Yes thank you Wonka. That she shouldn't feel rejected is what I thought you meant and it is certainly what I meant to say. I do want to somehow show her that I am accepting her as she is right now even though I do not like how she is being at all. I think that is the better way to be... strong enough to accept her as she by not being too bothered by her while not tolerating her misbehavior by moving on. I'm still working on that clearly. That is how I feel detachment should be.

And yes sandi I agree that she is still manipulating the situation. Yes that interaction with her was enough to put a dent in my PMA and I did feel guilty about "running over" her again. Then there was the cat...

S11 had a great practice. One of the other moms, W's friend, came over to say how sorry she was.

After practice, s11 and I went to have lunch. He was in a good mood. W called him on his phone and he dismissed the call. I have never seen him do that before. I didn't say anything about it.

We then went home to get the cat. Our cat is a wonderful, friendly, kind cat. He is also old, stinky, and dying. The first part of our family to go. S11 and came and got him quickly. W was back to supermom showing concern over S11's welfare about losing the cat. She suggested he stay with hr while I surrender the cat to the shelter. He came along with me.

It was terrible.

S11 didn't cry but you could see he was angry. And it was a long, frustrating wait along with many happy families adopting pets. S11 kept asking to get a new cat. I kept saying "you'll have to ask mom." No cats in the condo.

At the end, we were both angry. S11 didn't want to talk. W called him again and he hung up again. My PMA was hurting.

We got home. W was looking pulled together and overdoing supermom again. I went upstairs to pack. She followed and closed the door behind her. I was not ready but just kept packing. She sat on the bed and said "we have a lot to talk about."

She started talking about scheduling. She was ready for the conversation and had a notepad to write on. She talked liked all this was the most natural thing in the world. Again like there was no problem. Again impatient that I was not just going along.

I kept packing. I did answer... agreed to share the car on days she needed to work or had S11. Told myself to be more cool and comfortable but failed. I moved slow... kept busy packing... but I was clearly angry and did not look at her. There was a some resistance in my words and more in my body language. It was not horrible but I could have done much better. I wanted to be able to look at her and say "sure that's fine" or "no that doesn't work for me" in that conversation but instead I came off the hurt one while she stayed composed and in control.

And I see how. I see now she had a couple vodka drinks this afternoon before we got back. She's downstairs now on the couch telling s11 how nauseous she feels. She's also back to supermom. Telling S11 we'll figure it out, she wishes we could have lived together longer like she planned, and "here have some cookies." In short, she's still acting like our last night together in this house is no big deal.

Funny, S11 began saying he wanted to stay with her tomorrow. I did not fight that. She wanted that a little as a couple days ago. Instead she says "I think daddy wants you to go with him." She's also asking me what time I think we'll leave. So we know where she stands.

I am sick of the way she's acting right now. Talking to her son like she's the best mom in the world. Now she wants to go shopping right now to get toiletries and sheets for his room in the condo. Wants to take s11 with her.

I don't think I will be brining up her stepdad tonight.

Moving out tomorrow.