Yikes. I'm sorry that's the circle you find yourself. It is, indeed, a frustrating loop.
You go look cute, lady. You deserve to have a good time.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
