Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[SemperFi00]

As I see it, you're moving into different territory now. She's filed so you need to have your ducks in a row.

This

"W, you are right I don’t understand completely. I can see how unhappy you currently are and that makes me sad. I understand that you have to continue on your own journey and I do not want to get in the way of that.

is a good place to start. Then work together to make this happen in a non-destructive way. DB doesn't mean you lay down and be taken advantage of.

^^^^ is the plan. Let's see how well I can stick to it. The vast majority of the time I want her to be happy - even if that means moving on - and have a great R with the kids. And even some sort of R w/me.

There are times though where I really struggle with that given my deep seated beliefs related to commitment/loyalty/family etc.... At one point she progressed to be on the same page with this but clearly something has happened to change that or something is temporarily block it......

Open a conversation. That's probably a 180 for you.

The whole conversation topic as it relates to our R is one that is very interesting. For many early years, we talked and discussed everything (some things I never would have confided if I had ever thought there was a chance we would have a romantic relationship).

This continued for many years of our M - friends and family often commented about it. Somewhere along the way I guess it slowed way down and since b-date it has been nearly non-existent.

I don't like that but it was what happened and I don't think it was intentional on either part. I guess we just got busy with kids, family, household, career etc.... and figured we would have time together later after the kids were raised...... sad story! I am not angry about the fact that it happened or that feelings changed - like I said before neither of us intended for it to happen, I am frustrated and angry about not doing all we can to move towards developing an engaged R.

The biggest challenge I have right now is my desire to see if we could build something again where we could have that connection and communication...... and balancing that with the fact that W feels is either not possible or would take too much effort.....