Hi Jefe - praying hard sounds like being attached. Just let go for now. Let her be.
Remember, you don't have to be tethered to her boat, whirling around at sea. You can be the lighthouse. You see the boat. It tosses about, but doesn't pull you with it. But you are there, solid & strong on the headland, bedded in the rock. The boat can see you.
Don't feel angry with yourself, but learn for next time, and do it differently.
Toots :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus