I got 99 problems but an MLCer ain't one!

[daring]

LT- yes you are right about the old marriage being dead. I get that part. I just don't understand destroying the whole family unit if you're not really wanting to let it go. But then again I haven't been kidnapped by the MLC mother ship either! I hope both our spouses figure it out before we have decided to move on. Either way we will be ok!

Job- thank you for your concern. Your words always make me feel like I have a big sister wrapping her arms around me in a big hug!
I am trying to be very cognizant of taking care of myself. I've been going to bed early to get good sleep, and even though I have to cut some visits short with mom I've made getting to boot camp a priority as it really helps me with my stress.
I also have two Christmas parties and a meetup with a fellow DBer next week so I'm GALing my arse off!

Cali- you made me laugh with the Hiroshima comment- so true!! And thank you for saying I've handjed this with grace and class- that makes me feel good. I try but some days I would just like to shout F you at him for all this crap!
Keep working on me, focus on me- we are learning Cali.

So little update- tonight was D13 band concert. H went early to get her from school and pick up food for her. I had to get S16 and S8 and bring them. When I showed up there was standing room only. H offered me his seat but I said no thanks. I noticed he kept stealing glances at me. Then one of the songs the kids played was the one with the line " only know you love her when you let her go". I noticed he looked down at his phone through that song when he had been engaged in all the others.
After the concert he took D13 and S8 to pick up food and I dropped off S16 at a party. He asked if I wanted anything since they were taking it to go. He brought kids back to my house and came in to hang out and eat for few min. Was chatting with me about kids stuff, especially D13 who had bad attitude tonight. He asked about my mom and some schedule things. I told him I would be back on Sat in time for him to go to a Christmas party. He asked where I was going, I told him I'm meeting a friend halfway between our two cities. ( it's a DB friend,!but I kept it mysterious!) Then as he was leaving he asked me to lock door behind him. Stood on porch talking for a few min and all the sudden he starts telling me about a couple of job offers he has. Wanted to share some of the details with me. I was very happy for him and gave him kudos on the opportunities. Then he asked if I was going to S8 karate belt test tomorrow and I said yes. He said ok I'll come by and pick you both up and we can all go.

I'm keeping my expectations sub zero- in fact- I'm not thinking these actions mean he will change his course at all and I'm still expecting D papers. But I see some desire for connection, and maybe a little fear about losing me?? I'm still going to keep doing my own things- next Fri is our 21st anniversary and I have plans. It's my boot camp Christmas dance party. H already knows I'm going and will have the kids that night. Me treating our anniversary like any other day is a statement I know he is noticing.

Ok novel done for now. I'm doing pretty good today. Will keep giving it to God.