I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[Mozza]

Not sure why you're mad? You are separating and you offered this option. Your W just went with it. I wonder if you were hoping she'd say "Fine, I'll do it myself". Don't get into a power struggle with your W, some passive aggressive way of making her do things without asking directly. It's destructive, but more importantly it's not something you would want in an actual relationship.

Also, be very, very careful not to let on too much to your SIL. Everything you say will be reported to your W, as close as you may feel to your SIL. Act as if your W is in the room: you didn't want this separation, but you're moving on, you look happy. The payoff will be much higher than in your interactions with your W because it will be reported by a third person to her. "He looks great, like he's moving on." The idea is to give her the impression that you're coming on top, that you're attractive and have an interesting life. This will be extraordinarily difficult, but a crucial step in your sitch. Go for the Academy Award. Courage.