newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[bravo61]

just saw the XW. i was driving down the road and they (her & my D) saw my truck. D got really upset and wanted to see me really bad. XW called and asked if she could bring D by for about 15 min while she went and picked up S. it was great to see D she was so excited (haven't seen her since Wed morning). was cordial to XW. told her that i would be by at 6a to pick up the kids in the morning (so she could sleep-she works tonight same as me) and for her to leave the sitter a check.

she brought S back and we had a short visit. i asked her if she wanted to take the coffee i had bought a while back (i don't drink coffee but i thought she might want some if she ever came over). she said well i'll be going to days soon so maybe i could drink some over here? said sure why not. she did not offer a hug and i didn't ask for one or hint at one.

my S is doing a bible reading on sunday and she might go. i'm gonna reach out to some of the church members and ask that if they talk to her to just give her a hug and let her know that they love and miss her. gonna impress on them the no judgement part as i'm sure she'll be anxious about that(cause guilty concience). she wanted to take the kids from there but i asked her if she would consider picking them up later which would give her a chance to get some rest (she works Sat graveyard). i'm planning on giving her space there and walking her out and tell her that she showed class and grace in a tough situation and i'm proud of her. all while looking her in the eye. i figure if i can show her love in these circumstances, that may help me in forgiving her. that's my hope. who knows, God may use all of this as a wakeup call for both of us and bring us back together in a M that we should've been in all along.

any vets out there care to chime in on my action plan? or am i/this just a lost cause.

special thanks to the well wishes and prayers sent out from all y'all. it means a lot, especially as i feel all alone with no real support system out here.

on a brighter note, tomorrow me and the kids are going to a special Christmas light park early in the evening (with sleigh rides, hot chocolate, etc) and from there to the planetarium for the free public showing. we had planned for it last month but they cancelled it. i promised my kids i would take them and i ALWAYS keep my word (even if i had to beg for a day off to do it). i think that the XW will really be sad that she's missing out on our family life. BTW, she still hasn't mentioned that we are divorced.