What I read from her rhetoric is that it's not enough that I set boundaries with them, but I need to prevent them from ever testing those boundaries to begin with, preferably by her not being in their presence at all. As if I can possibly predict and control another human's behavior.
If she doesn't like them so much, then why does she keep going to family events? IMHO, it's like she's setting herself up to be a martyr and you to take the blame. She wants you to cut them out of your life (I know that feeling, I've been guilty of that as well), she doesn't want to be around them, yet she keeps going to family events. Why?
I can't stand my in-laws. They've done alot to damage my relationship with H, and he has been unable to set boundaries with them like you have (I applaud you for that). However, I've sucked it up and done the holidays, but sent H on other trips on his own because there's only so much I can take.
This will need to be addressed in MC. And probably IC.
She needs IC desperately, but will refuse.
She's under no obligation to do family events..in fact she was freaking out on the phone with me just now about having to do even a half-day Christmas with them.
In fact, I just came up with a way to let her off the hook for Christmas with my family.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
