How's that? This morning, she sent me a link to a work-related video. I replied "Thanks, I'll try to find the time to see it", rather than watching it and then commenting (also, it's 45-min long) and then switched to questions about the kids.
She asked if I could keep the kids for the night, because it's her office party and she'll come late and drunk and would like to sleep in tomorrow morning. I said, no I can't but didn't explain that it's because I'm leaving town tonight. It's an honest answer, but I'm also happy not to enable further her party lifestyle as the free babysitter (in her eyes, not mine).
Later, we ran into each other on the sidewalk. We acknowledged each other from a distance, I stopped to talk to her but slightly past her (as I'm on my way, in a rush, of course), and spoke about the kids. I could tell she was a little taken aback that I was distant and she started leaving while still speaking, even talking as we had both turned her back. No physical contact. My W is very afraid of rejection (me too, according to my IC) and won't be caught the more interested one, especially under our circumstances. This "cordial withdrawal" (replacing the "positive engagement") of mine will soon take us back to an angry phone call or no contact, but I'm fine with it because I really wish she'd stop contacting me for a while. It's too stressful until I'm detached.
By the way, I was well-dressed and wearing new clothes, which goes to show the importance of doing it even when they're not watching.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
