SD, you can't judge a marriage by the public actions of a couple. My ex and I were very affection with each other. Always held hands, touched and tickled. We had the happy, happy family that all our friends envied. HA!! The man was wonderful til you got him behind closed doors. Put him in public and he couldn't keep his hands off me, put him in bed with me and he was very uninterested. Don't look at others and what you think they have because appearances are not always what they seem.
As for making the assumption that your daughter already had a mother's day card, well, you know what they say about the word assume? It makes an ass out of u and me! Never make assumptions about anything especially when it comes to something that can affect another person's feelings. Of course, the fact that your daughter is 16 and I'm sure knew that mother's day was upon her, she is responsible for making sure her mother gets a card. I'm not so sure I would take on all the responsibility for that mishap. Cathy~
I try to explain to the wife how "Great" marriages work by refering to all of the books I have read, and the repsonse is to always compare our relationship to her girlfriends, and guess what, we are NORMAL since all of her friends are pretty much not interested in sex either? Girlfriends 1, "psychobabble" nothing!
"Forget about them...we should se setting the example of what a good marriage is because you (Mrs. Cemar) do not really know how both parties are truly feeling nor can you absolutely trust that your friends aren't glossing over their own reality."
Remember CeMar, my W has declared all along that she "has the perfect marriage, loves her life, loves me, and thanks God every sunday for the family and life we have made for ourselves". What do you think her friends think about OUR marriage...they probably think it's abso-freakin-lutely perfect while in reality, we our barely skirting a WWH situation.
CeMar, As far as I can see, Mrs CeMar's friends are probably right but we're not working for NORMAL are we? We are working for GREAT! BTW I have done a 180 on the psychobabble. Talking about the books doesn't work so do the opposite. I am trying to apply the stuff now without ramming it down her throat. SD
Good call, SD! Keep us posted on how it works out. It really comes down to this: the only one we can really CHANGE, is OURSELVES. We decide how we are going to act, and hopefully our actions will have the desired effect on our spouse.
Tuesday 12 noon. Last night we went on a date to see Phantom of the Opera in London. We have been meaning to see this since it started so it was a big date. The train journey was good and we talked a lot. We had a nice meal then went to the theatre. Surrounding the whole stage was a huge billowing curtain and I said that I expected it would be removed at some stage. She thought that it would not. Of course it was removed, to reveal magnificent carved gold angels and that is when I made my "Told you so" mistake. Later on, in my excitement, I dug her in the ribs to indicate that the chandelier was about to fall but she took offence to that. The journey home was quiet and I was left with empty love tanks to reflect about my two errors and to think "Why is it that I have to watch my every move and yet she can say anything about me and I just have to laugh it off?". Once home she described my infringements in detail to D16. I came to the conclusion that progress on the sex front is hollow unless I can get her to behave like she loves me. SD
Wednesday 11:30pm. HD Guys, I need help! I am begining to question my very HDness! As you already know I have managed to negotiate a once-a-week ML with DW and I should be well excited about it - right? So why am I not feeling as if I'm walking on a cloud? I've always been a 3x per week man so why has my sex drive taken a nose dive? I have hardly given my self any hjs since I started this project a month ago. I thought it was my body's way of saving myself for my DW so why do I feel so inert? Ive got to get back to normal by Friday! SD
Hey, SD.... chill, man! Can you say "performance anxiety?" Sure you can! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor... (Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood)
Seriously, I doubt there's anything really wrong here. Worrying about it can make it worse (or so I hear... ). It's no big deal when you can easily say "well, there's always next time...", but of course, you and I don't have that luxury, do we? OTOH, for YOU it's just until next Friday, for ME, who knows?
We all have "off" days, don't sweat it. You may come back stronger than ever. No matter what is exercised, it does need a rest now and again. Could be a bit of undigested beef, oh, sorry, no Scrooge appropriate here....but you do reside in GB, so had to throw that in...
Let's face it, life has been very stressful for you lately.. Trying to get a M to turn around is very difficult anf stressful work. You are on a tightrope without alot of soft places to fall. Your energy has been redirected to your , not just your love toy, so of course things may flag a bit now and again. Medication can have a huge effect on your libido, too...I agree with the performance anxiety diaganosis, happens to everyone one in awhile..stress is most often the culprit.
Cut yourself some slack, and let us know when things are looking up again...Curious minds are curious you know....
SD: One word: Viagra. More than one word...is it that you can't get the FLAG UP THE POLE, or is it that GETTING THE FLAG UP THE POLE distracts you from what's on your mind like, say, whether you put the rubbish can out for the rubbish man? If it's the former, then give Viagra a try, you old fart. If it's the second, then here's another word for you: FOCUS.
My W, when we were dating and she said I was "horny," I would reply by saying, "no, I'm just focused." You just need to focus.
And relax. We're supposed to have fun here, right?
Hairdog, who's focused like a laser beam...unfortunately it's just bouncing off the mirror.
). It's no big deal when you can easily say "well, there's always next time...", but of course, you and I don't have that luxury, do we? OTOH, for YOU it's just until next Friday, for ME, who knows? 
No matter what is exercised, it does need a rest now and again. Could be a bit of undigested beef, oh, sorry, no Scrooge appropriate here....but you do reside in GB, so had to throw that in...