Do you believe your husband is having an MLC? That's really important because that answer shapes and affects everything else.
If no, then wrong forum and not saying that to be mean but because this is a waste of your time.
With MLC everything is longer. With MLC your goal is to outlast their crisis, and your hope is that their crisis doesn't last long.
The truth you want to tell him, only works if he is capable of listening and considering it. To that end it won't work until he is at a stage of MLC where he is realizing that the problems in his life have the common denominator of "him". Any other time? And your truth is being used to get what you want from them...pressure in their mind.
The thing most of us tend to forget is that what worked for us might not work for others...specifics not generalities...the generalities exist simply because more often than not its the way to go.
By specifics I mean, "You're being too nice." or the opposite, " You're being too mean." Ultimately if your are getting good results form one or the other use that strategy no matter what anyone here says.
Last thing,
I want you to know that we are going to support you as long as you're trying to be a better person, because that better person is going to have a better relationship next time. Whether next time is with someone new or your spouse, and if it is with your spouse it better be new cause the old marriage was broken enough to be put down.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
