Angry WAH blames me for everything.......

[Calibri]

Ok, so this post is going to be counter-intuitive to what I just said to Pink. But, I opened a door I probably shouldn't have with H, and I need advice - would love if the vets could help out here.

H is less angry. He's *saying* that he said alot of things over the past two months towards me that while angry, were not based on his feelings. He appears to be softening his stance towards me (saying that he wishes he did things differently, that the problems we're having our his fault too, etc). However, he's still not open to working on our M "at this time." He says he's not where he needs to be emotionally, still needs to work on himself, etc. The last time he addressed our R he said, "he was open to the idea of reconciliation in the future, but found it very hard to imagine that scenario. I also got the ILYBNILWY punctuated by "i'll never open my heart to you again because of all the pain you've caused me." (Which, for the record, he's sort of taken that back, but I'm taking that with a grain of salt.)

The other day I texted him and said I would like to have the opportunity to talk to him because there were some things on my mind and I didn't want them to fester and become bigger. I immediately regretted sending that text because I knew that anything I had to say really wasn't a)productive DBing and b)going to fall upon receptive ears. Shockingly he texted me back and agreed and I thanked him but said that I actually wanted to contemplate my feelings more and perhaps talk at a later time. He followed up the next day asking me if I wanted to talk about it. I again reiterated no, but said I was receptive to having a general conversation if he felt up to it. He agreed.

We've basically have been limited contact (ie: me texting him to see if he was alive) since his AD meds increased. He purposely put the distance between us because he didn't want to blow up on me and he was feeling very stressed and irritable. He's in the process of changing meds now.

We were supposed to chat last night, he blew me off, I politely confronted him about it. And I blew off some steam, using lots of I feel this way when you said this but then did that. Etc. Despite all of this, he still expressed an interest in starting to have conversations with me.

So. What do I say in these conversations, should they happen? Knowing that my H doesn't want to work on our M "right now"/if ever. Obviously no R talks. I know he reads my facebook because he referenced something I posted today and said, "your post today made me chuckle. I want to hear more of the great stories you have." To which I responded, "You'd know about the great stories if I was even on your radar and you wouldn't shut me out." (Mental 2x4 - multiple times).

Obviously no responses like that. I'd like to show off what progress I've made without saying it, I'd like to make him want to talk to me more. Basically, I'd like to position myself so H things less of me as the big bad bitchy wife, and more of the W he fell in love with, 10 years ago. With the hopes that it might guide him towards working on the M.

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I feel like I'm auditioning to be a part of my marriage again.

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Advice?