The Goddess of the Goats Sees Into The Future

[BrightFuture]

GGG, a lot of what you’ve just written resonates with me big time.
This:

You know, if someone could tell me HOW to keep those feelings of love alive in my heart while my husband has cut me out of his heart for years---and who has filed for divorce saying he never loved me, and doesn't want to be with me anymore...well, I'd really like to hear how that's done.

I just can't see being detached to the point where you're not a sensitive, hurting, emotional pile of jelly, yet still having those feelings of ATTACHMENT present.

I don't think those two things can be reconciled.
There must be a hardening of the heart, much the way our WAS have done to us. A way to make the transition.

And this:

I think you guys think I've given up on my M and as such, I am thinking about all the negatives so I can detach further and rationalize my decision to keep moving forward as though what H has wanted--a divorce-- will eventually come to pass.

And this:

I do feel "loving" towards H. But I no longer am "in love" with him.
To be "in love" means I see the best in him, and feel that feeling of being special and cherished.

I think this is exactly what I’ve been struggling with. If I detach enough, I will no longer be able to see anything good in my H. This is it! I’ve been trying to find all kind of negatives about H hoping that it will help me to finally move on. I do have the feelings of warmth and understanding and forgiveness, and even wishing H the best, feeling sorry for him... But… at the same time thinking that he hurt me so much, and if I ever to recover from this, I have to completely remove H from my heart.

GGG, again, thanks for sharing. It helps me to process my feelings without thinking that I’m crazy or different from everybody else here who seem to be doing better in terms of understanding the detachment concept.