Monday 9:45am. Had a relatively sleepless night. W says she did too (but she didn't notice I was out of bed from 1am to 2am). My sleeplessness was not due to the usual frustration but was because I was thinking about how best to use the Love Languages and in particular how I could use them to improve my relationship with my children. I realise that S11 has “Physical touch” and “Quality time” because he likes to cuddle with W while watching TV and he often talks to me about his hobbies. Sadly I am usually busy and just give him a yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I understand his LLs I will make a big effort to listen to him and be interested in his play station games etc. D16 likes people to run around after her so she has “Acts of Service”. I usually tell her to “Get it yourself” but now I understand about her LL I will be much more willing. She has to go to school early once a week and usually asks me to give her a lift. Of course I moan about it but not any more. She will be amazed when I offer to take her next time without her having to ask. W is a more difficult case. In the morning I was up early, made the tea, fed the cats, cleaned the shoes and tidied the kitchen all except one pan that had rice stuck to it. I left it to soak. When she came down stairs did she fill my “Words of affirmation” love tank with a compliment regarding the tidy kitchen? Nope, she stuck the knife in with a caustic remark about the solitary pan I had not cleared away. She has a lot to learn. I did send her a really nice email last night though explaining how I thought we could use the LLs together for the benefit of our children. I hope she appreciates it and doesn’t attack me for forcing psychobabble on her. SD
