Wait, I'm not pursuing much. I kissed W on the cheeks when she leaned in, the first time we saw each other in 2 weeks. Other than that, it was all business. I've even reduced the email contacts to a bare minimum in the last week or two, cutting on the banter. I go back and forth because my W felt I was distant in the couple, so it had been suggested that I use these exchanges to show her my changes.
Listen to yourself. "I'm not pursuing MUCH". Which means you are still pursuing SOME. You are still contacting, showing affection, and flirting.......even though she has an affair wide open for everyone to see, especially your children. Is this what you will advise your son one day if he finds himself in your shoes?
Your W felt you were being distant, so what did you do, but give her more of your attention. Now she has both you and OM.
I am curious as to what it would take for you to really drop the rope.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
