S, I am not in any way telling you to be a b*tch..nor an I necessarily telling you to put your foot down.
Trust me when I tell you that I get the fear. Took me a long time to conquer mine. I lettered in fear controlling my life.
What I am saying is that you really need to try to feel as if you have a right to feel as you do. That being that he gets everything the same even though he wants out.
It is a mindset and an attitude that I am really speaking of. It is knowing that this is your life and he doesnt get to determine how you live it.
He needs to see that you've heard him, S. You need to feel that you will be ok and really believe it.
When my xh would come over, I would say hello and go out if I could. If I couldnt, I would be sure to make myself scarce catching up on stuff I needed to. I was pleasant, cordial.
But he started to see that I was moving forward because I was. was moving forward with my journey. I was becoming stronger and it showed.
I showed him strength and I also joked around. I treated him as if he was a good neighbor. Not to punish him, but for me. If I didnt I would get caught up in his nonsense of trying to bait me or get a reaction.
There were times when he wanted to come over and it wasnt a good time for me and I told him that. There were times when he came over and I was dressed up...and off I would go with a hair flip. LOL!
Your 180's are for you. If he doesnt see them, thats his problem. If they are true and real...he will eventually. But thats not in your control. It doesnt mean you shouldnt still live them.
He feels your fear. He sees you're uncomfortable and he is playing on it.
Face the fears, S. Break them down one by one. Once fear is gone, the rest comes more easily.
