Busting this Divorce - Moving Out

[HPoirot]

HP, at this stage of your sitch (HOW long have you been at this? HOW many posts? HOW many responses by people to you?), you have GOT to learn to invest about 98% less angst and DRAMA into simple things like what happened this morning. Contrast your gut-wrenching drama above with my proposed simple response (or something similar to it).

I know this is difficult, but this should be FAR more second-nature to you at this point. Your wife's statements and behavior I find to be ENTIRELY predictable, with very few variations, and you know her far better than I do. Having a couple of canned, stock answers at the ready -- and the over-arching detached attitude to go along with them -- should be the EASY part of this stage for you. Dealing with the real "meat" of your strategy and how to care for S11, etc., should be where you invest your mental and emotional focus. These simple, entirely-unnecessary exchanges with your practically-unhinged wife shouldn't be what saps your strength.


Starsky

Yes thank you Starsky. I agree I should be farther along and I do struggle when I'm in the thick of this with W. When she's discombobulated I can act detached... But when she's on her game or I'm not expecting her I struggle. I should have expected her this morning. I thank you very much for the face saving script. It was exactly what was called for.

Some canned answers...

"Thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate your honestly. Let me think about what you've said and I'll get you an answer soonest."

"Listen... I really want to hear what you have to say but now's not the best time for me. How would you feel about sitting down tonight after S11 is in bed?"

Also, now that she has decorated the house for Christmas... she will push hard to at least have S11 there with her for Christmas morning. I plan to give that to her if she asks. I will not go.

And see now why she did not continue with her Christmas day crying. She's still being supermom for s11 now that he thinks ill of her.

Also, she likely will give me trouble about the move to the condo. What might I expect in the next couple days?

Also, s11 and I are still going to the condo Friday night to see my dad off. It may be a good time to do a Christmas tree there. Too much though? I already feel like I'm dueling with my W. I really just want to get away from her now.

No more drama from me then. Just stand and listen. Validate and delay. Hopefully she is sober tonight. Hopefully she remembers her IC's list. Hopefully the distance from her after the move will help me at least like her again.

Otherwise... I still have my plans to turn my life around. I'll just get through this week.

After tonight... 2 more days.