But I am going to pose the same question to you. Why are you ok with that?
He left. He wanted out. You want to show him that you've heard him. So, he can come in to see daughter IF that is your choice. You dont have to allow that if you arent comfortable.
But again, if it is your choice, then, why arent you going out when he is there? Why arent you making yourself scarce? No need to be around to get pulled into the emotional and bad energy stuff.
You have control here, S. You get to decide how you do this. You get to decide who you want to be and how you want to act. And you get to decide what you will or wont allow regarding your feelingsl.
You need to get to a place where you are acting out of strength and not fear.
He needs to understand that things are different now that he has made the choices he has made and it isnt your problem if he doesnt get it.
