Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[SemperFi00]

labug - thanks for continuing to follow along.

Your wife's statements make sense to me. But more importantly, they make sense to her.

I get that the important thing is that they make sense to her right now. Please help me understand if you can - I believe that having a better understanding in this are would help in my efforts at detachment. At least I think so - but then again maybe not.

Do you see how you disparage her, even now? She can't possibly be unhappy, you gave her everything she needed!!!! Right?

I think that you are referring to my comments below - I could have been more clear in my post. I don't want to seem disparaging at all.

Clearly something is missing from her happiness or she wouldn't be where she is at. That may be something from R with me or it may be something entirely different.

These were W's comments and what she was saying about herself. Also started initiatl conversations with T by stating that she was "broken" and wantd to be fixed.

Not my words - not sure if that changes anything with your comments??

Her only comment is that she started down a path of self-discovery with a T to try and understand why she is not happy. Even though she has everything that she could want...... Right now she is at a place where she believes that her unhappiness has been caused by her constant focus on pleasing others and trying to make others happy at the expense of knowing who she really is.

And now for the first time in a long time she has her "voice" and knows that she can't become who she wants to be while married to me. In one of her analogies she compared herself to an alcoholic and I am the bottle of alcohol that she cannot resist.......

Don't really like the alcohol analogy and I believe that it is possible to have a voice as an individual and balance that with also being a mother and a spouse....

SF, I think I've been with you sense the beginning. Give your W the benefit of the doubt. Love her enough to let her go.

Bless you for continuing to follow along - really appreciate the interest and commentary. I am trying really hard to get (and stay) in the place you describe above.