I always tell him about all of you. I'm not sure he quite understands why I still come here (not sure I understand it either) but I think we both agree its because I care about all of you. A lot. I keep telling him that some day we will meet Wii - especially since he lives so close.
Josh is a very kind, gentle man. Such the opposite of my ex. I had an awful dream about Ex last night. We were in the car together and he was driving. (Never a good thing). He said he was going to do an experiment to test his brakes. Threw the car into reverse and took if full tilt towards a cliff. And it was a snowy, icy road. My Ex did stuff like this (seriously). I demanded he stop the car and let me out. UGH!
My Mom wanted me with her daily when she had cancer. And she and my dad were there every day without exception. If one of us was 5 min late - she got upset. I was a newly single mom, ran my business and had Ryan but I made it work. My other 3 siblings did their best to be there often but they had longer hours. One sis lived out of town and didn't visit as much. When I told her it was near the end and insisted she take time off (work had offered it to her but she was in denial about it all) - she came. And guess what? Mom waited til Dad and I had left and passed away when my sister was with her. But that's ok. Strangely, my cousin, who had been planning to visit, showed up that night (after visiting hours) and was also there when Mom passed. I think she was there for my sister. 2 years later when her Mom (my aunt) passed - I got there before she did and was able to offer the same support to her sister. There are no coincidences.
Last month Josh visited his mom. We both pretty much exhausted our air miles since her diagnosis. He called me from the airport (I was by the pool in Florida) and told me he had just seen his Mom for the last time. He was crying. Enroute to Quebec on Tues - he had stopped to take a Conference Call for work. Had he not made that stop - he would have arrived on time. But I think she knew he was coming and let go when she knew he would be there for his dad.
At any rate. Had planned to fly there today. Held off until funeral arrangements were made. They listened to my suggestion and booked it for Monday rather than Wednesday. Josh asked me to come Saturday. Thank God because its a Snow Day here. Everything is shut down. Again. I doubt my flight would have taken off. But Saturday looks good and I will get home very late Monday. He wants to leave after the funeral. I tried to talk him into one more day. Funerals are so emotionally exhausting but he will already have missed a fair bit of work although he is trying to work from his Dad's home.
