I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[edz]

Hi MCS

My sitch is different to yours as there isnt anyone else involved but I can certainly empathise with the splitting things aspect.

I was at the apartment we shared after W left with S and when I decided to move (and she was moving back - see my thread for details) I effectively had to split everything and pack / resolve everything myself.

Of everything in the place she only went through our vinyl albums and did it in a half hearted way.

Just before moving she then started to pick at my decisions and changed her mind on what she wanted to keep and even after I arranged the move, the removals and went she was still asking why I had certain things.

In short, you are not alone in this. We as LBS(es) are being moved "away" from in their minds I think, in the books you'll see that most WASs have already done this way before we are told. I didn't get that my W didn't see me as her H then (and probably not now at least yet, maybe never) so thinking she'll see things the way we would when we got ready to move in the past was my view not catching up (as always hindsight is perfect).

She simply wanted the place sorted so she could get on (in my case so she could get out of MILs house before they strangled each other but thats another problem completely).

I know how gut crunchingly difficult this is for you to be going through, its bad enough to have significant people wanting to go but then to have to face all the historical proof of your life together just magnifies it. All I can offer you is this, I'm 3 weeks into having moved away and W moved in. I'm in no way up to my full GAL or full PMA but work on them every day (Vanilla makes sure of that!) and while I have down days having sorted that move and gone past it is the most positive thing that happened since BD. In my case it also meant seeing my S more which is not the case in your sitch but I can say that this may be hard but it will pass eventually regardless of your eventual outcome and things will become easier.

Keep posting and hang in there,

Edz