Busting this Divorce - Moving Out

[HPoirot]

I didn't do well this morning...

Woke up... ice cold shower... got dressed to travel to the office. Didn't take a moment to prepare for any talking. My thought was only to get away from her.

I go out. Immediately W starts in on s11's school. She wants to know if I still want to be responsible financially for his tuition. If not, she'll assume it and get financial aid. She's needs to know now b/c she's looking for an apartment and needs to plan. She's following me everywhere talking talking talking. I wasn't ready and didn't get it together.

Now that I'm sitting here in the coffee shop, I see I could have said... "Thank you for sharing that with me. I'll need some time to process that." I didn't do that. I was clearly angry with her and didn't really talk. Just kept walking away from her. Tried to slow down and be cool but didn't do well.

Told her I was not comfortable with her assuming any thing for s11 on her own. Agreed it would be good to keep him in his school in the end... but I glared at her and was clearly rushing to get out.

I'm not going to keep asking myself and you how she can stand to be herself right now. I'm going to be more empathetic. She's doing her best in a bad situation she's made. Doesn't help anyone if I make it worse or prove to her I'm terrible to be around.

So yes that's what Claire and Little called me on the other day and I did it again. Losing my cool when she jumps on me like that first thing in the morning with s11 again right there serves her purpose. Now again I'm angry like she expects. Now again I'm the bad one.

And I see this is what I did in our M. She would come at me with her concerns and anxieties and I would not really sit and take in what she was saying. I wouldn't listen closely and make her feel cared about and care for enough.

She sends a text right after I leave... "I am so disappointed we can't talk. Once again I think a mediator will be good for the situation."

Next time I swear I'm going to stand and listen... STFU... and then say "Thank you for sharing that with me. I'll need some time to process that."

Again I'm tired and the day hasn't started yet.

Is there any response I can make to salvage this interaction? The worn all the way down part of me wants to apologize for how I acted and agree to whatever for s11.