The Goddess of the Goats Sees Into The Future

[jim0987]

Eloquent is definitely the right description.

As I was reading there were a few phrases that really stood out for me because they were things I could connect with although it remains to be seen if that’s a good thing.

....he has continually undermined the connection between us

....what he had to work with was very fragile at best.

....who made him look better

....didn't have the skills to actually be fully present

....he would not have been able to pull the wool over my eyes

And then here is what i think is the core of it all

..... he believes that he needs someone who doesn't really know the "real" him, because he believe the "real" him is ugly

I typed out a fairly lengthy bit of amateur psychology but deleted because it was too much mind reading and personal projection rather than concentrating on your situation. What I will say is that if you piece this lot together you get a fairly negative picture.

You get someone who doesn’t think they deserve happiness and believes that people only like him because they haven’t got to know him (made worse if you add in some social anxiety). He feels he can’t be who he is really, that he can’t relax because then they would see and when they see they will leave. If someone believes this (truly believes it) then they live in a perpetual state of guilt, anxiety and fear convinced that the person they are with is so much better than them and its only a matter of time before they realise. Its like being a character written by Edgar Allan Poe

Criticism (however lovingly giving), the other person shining in a non relationship setting, or just their other half being sad is all seen as signs that they are realising their mistake and this will soon lead to rejection. It reminds them of how awful they think they are. Crazy making in anyone’s book and as a defence can mean blaming or punishing the person who makes them feel like this. In some cases this may cause people to jump before they are pushed.

Ultimately they are sabotaging their own happiness but probably can’t see it

However as someone who relates to/is like this ^^^^^ description then this bit is what truly scares me

I don't think he can change.

I can’t say if there is a right fix to this other than to take care of yourself and live your life as best you can, but I hope you can remember this bit.

.... I don't think he ever wanted to hurt me. He just couldn't avoid it. He is that damaged.