When writing emails or texts, one would want to keep with STFU and KISS principles. Try to keep "I" statements out as you really don't want to interject yourself too much and it actually weakens your position. After all, the WAS thinks that the LBS is the root of their problems and misery.
Here's your first draft and let's dissect it, shall we? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi H,
Just wanted to give you my thoughts on Christmas since we talked about it last week and I hadn't gotten back to you about it yet. [this portion makes you appear weak. I'd rework this to shorten it a bit and get to the point] I was thinking you can take S4 and D1.5 to your mom's Christmas Eve. I was thinking...strike that out. Again, "I"....and I would be careful of "thinking you can take..." which suggest that you DO have some control over this. Do you see this now?You're more than welcome to be here Christmas morning though. I think the kids would really like that. Also, I wanted to see how you'd feel [I would not use the word "feel"...instead use the neutral word "your thoughts"] about doing a small gift exchange between us this year from the kids, so S4 can go shopping with each of us. Thought it might be fun for him and he mentioned wanting to shop for you.
Let me know what you think!
Lorelai
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I would suggest that you ask H open-ended questions to elicit more information from him.
For example, you might ask, "Do you think it would be possible for you to do gift exchange with the kids on Christmas morning? S4 would like to give you his gift as we've already gone shopping I propose that we do the gift exchange at 8 am (insert whatever time you think is best) on Christmas morning and you can leave afterward.
The goal is to make the holidays a positive one for the kids that creates good memories for everyone.
What are your thoughts? Your input is important to me and we can get this sorted out."
I also like Calibri's opening statement and the validating part that followed.
You might want to rework the draft and come back here with the next one for some more feedback. I think you're getting closer.
