I don't think your expectations are out of line, but I do think your delivery of said expectations may need some adjusting.
At least in your posts, it sounds to me as though you are 'demanding' that things change. It sounds as though your conversations involve a lot of anger and resentment from both of you, and I don't think the two of you are really HEARING each other.
I agree with CeMar that these conversations should not occur in your bedroom at night. I think your Friday night date would be a good time for you to set some boundaries with your W. Do you have any idea what it is you want to say to her, and how you are going to say it?
