Card29 VII

[Card29]

I know I should have considered myself "dead" months ago, and I always knew our old M was dead one way or the other, but I never really let go so this is cutting so deep. God I can't imagine waking up tomorrow. At least right now I'm tired with a beer (about to be 2) in me, with the hopeful escape of sleep in my near future. Tomorrow morning is going to be the worst case of "tell me that was all just a dream" of my entire life. My best friend for nearly all of my 20's just officially gave up, and I never knew anything was wrong until she was walking out the f'ng door. That is so unfair. Haha life's not fair though, right?

as far as how I handled it tonight, whatever, it could have been better. A little pleading before she dropped the hammer, one or two guilt trips for her afterwards that I will regret but don't yet. No hostility, but I also didn't reassure her fear of things getting nasty between us (they won't, but I just didn't feel like coddling her).