A Lifetime Movie Starring GB #11

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks Wonka, Job, Gwen and GG. I took kids out to celebrate tonight at a quasi schmancy (for us) restaurant and no one pooped, cried, peed or threw up at the table. This is a victory, yes???

I have noticed something. Even though I feel more even keel, about a week before the curse arrives I start to spin. Anxiety. I can't pinpoint specifically to what. I'm going to throw something else out. I also have this insatiable, overwhelming desire to be dominated at this same time. All while spinning and anxious. I've spoken to a therapist and we both think it may have something to do with the fact that well, I always had to "do" everything. I worked. I cleaned the house. I was primary caretaker. I paid bills. I don't think it really has much of a sexual connotation (or perhaps it does due to being in a SSM?) and that is the only thing I don't want to control??? Or maybe I just want to release stress that way and I think that's the way I want to? Or somehow I view that as relaxing? It's very strange and I'm trying to work through this. By myself cause it is just me.

I don't know. It's strange how " i " have a certain cycle with feelings. Hanging out with my best friend from childhood his weekend. I'm excited to see her.