I am working on my whole marriage. Like Michelle says, to recover a marriage will probably take about as long as 1 month for every month you have been married. I am in no ruch to get out. I will be patient. I have 3 young kids at home, I can not leave this marriage, YET! That's the one thing that really sucks about marriages like ours, we don't have complete control over our own lives. We both think of divorce, and then you think about the kids. They don't deserve the problems of losing a parent to divorce. Kids are always better off with both parents, unless their is abuse. I don't ever want my kids to think that I broke the family apart. If my marriage comes apart, I want the kids to know that I am not the one that gave up. In fact, I just read something about divorce on another web site that more or less said that you should only consider divorce after EVERY SINGLE OPTION for restoring a good marriage is exhusted. Does your need for happiness exceed your children's need for the happiness of a 2 parent family?
Keep it up. I know it will be a loooonnngg haul for both of us. It took years to get where we are, it will probably take a long time to get back, if ever! Sorry to say SuperDave, but examples of truly fixing our situations are RARE on these boards. And think about it, sure their are middle age divorced women out there, but the odds are pretty good that they are divorced BECAUSE they too are LD. I read another counselor that has been fixing marriage problems for over 20 years, and he said that 90% of the marriages that he works on are SPECIFICALLY for LD women. So what are the odds of meeting a single 40ish women that is still into sex and affection? Not very good. 40-45 % of all women lose their sex drive, FOREVER. It NEVER comes back. Do you think there is a coorelation between the 50% divorce rate and the fact that 40-45% of all women lose their interest in sex. I think it IS the reason marriages fall apart.
SuperDave, don't tink about it as abot sex. What you want is a firm commitment to making your marraige great, FROM BOTH OF YOU. As long as your wife is commited to fixing your marriage, and that means meeting YOUR needs and HER needs cheerfully, then you have to give her the chance, right? Now if she is not committed to making a great marriage, then that is when us guys need to start planning on getting out. We may never get to that great marriage, but if both are working on it, that can do wonders to boosting your attitude towards her.
