I read that trying to please other people is also an internal issue and can be related to some trauma along the time you were building your personality.
It is somehow a desire to be accepted by others, when the truth is you need to accept yourself. Maybe you try to talk some more with your IC and try to figure why you have this tendency.
Talking about is already a step towards the solution. But these feeling we built inside and keep it for a long time they are hard to resolve.
"She said - but you're 47 now....you don't need to do that anymore!"
When I talk to my IC today I want to ask him about techniques or every day exercise, or through meditation... some ways that I can take the pain, resentment, wound, memory, etc away from my heart. People say, you don't need to do that anymore, but what that means? How do I go from point A to point B? How do I switch from hurting to being OK with it? If I had a stop, cancel, off bottom I would press it without a doubt, but I/we do not have one.
I forgot to tell you, I got my Xmas tree on Saturday morning, it's very nice. A little shorter then last year, but it is still pretty big. I am working on the decorations every day a little bit. H helped me to set up the tree inside the house on sunday, he actually never did it before, I guess he is also changing. I also put some lights outside, I am half away since I needed to clean the gutters too.
I feel good that my mood for Xmas is not getting all destroyed. I even think that maybe Xmas can be a good time to show some changes. Who knows...
