hairdog, Reading a book like SSM throws all your emotions into the air all of a sudden. You go from being fairly miserable and trying to accept that life is never going to turn out the way you dreamed into hugely optimistic that there is a chance. The book says do 180s and try the opposite. OK our wives are ND but hang on they might not be. Just say we have an HD score of 10/10 and they score only 1/10. We don't give them a chance to show us that 1 because there is never a time when we are not reaching for them. Simplifying it a lot, say for every 10 times we initiate some kind of contact they initiate only 1. We don't notice their efforts because they are so tiny in comparison and they probably feel that their own efforts are unnoticed. What if you stop giving your 10? That 1 then becomes much more obvious and because you see it you feel better and that reflects back. In my case this morning I felt that she showed me love because she moved to kiss me goodbye. The kiss was still only on the cheek but it was closer to lips than ears. I have felt great all day because of it. What if I had put my arms around her at breakfast and probably massaged her shoulders too. She would have had enough contact for one day and would have rushed out of the house with barely a peck. I am going to keep going with this strategy. Who knows, the weekend could be very interesting! SD
