I am sorry to hear that your phone convo with H didn't go well. Was there some sort of resolution to the timeshare and hotel rewards situation?
I would recommend that you buy some listening and communication skills books. Here are some that I have bought personally and benefited from these authors.
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts by Robert Bolton, PhD
The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols PhD
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
As for your comments about withdrawing from H, that can be a dangerous path as the connection is lost between you two. Right now, H is involved with OW so you really cannot be available to meet his emotional needs.
However, you can be polite and upbeat when talking with H. He needs to hear that you are strong, calm, and serene. That is attractive to nearly all people.
Were you able to read up a bit on the link to the validation techniques?
Don't worry about the phone dust-up. Just dust yourself off and pick yourself up. Keep plugging away.
