I can move on without BF. I can have a happy life without him, in terms of goals and whatnot. I don't need him for those things. I love me, who I am, and what I stand for.

He is my other half. Not to say that I'm not a whole person, but his soul and mine are parts of the same whole. We understand each other so completely without trying. We speak without words. We can, proven on more than one occasion, read each other's minds some how.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that someone I have such an intense bond with has chosen the path he has chosen.

I know all the rhymes and reasons of logic about what he's done vs what I deserve vs DBing technique vs detaching and letting go and all that. I know and understand and accept it.

The odds we reconcile this R are probably zero. I know this.

My emotions are trying to catch up and having a hard time coping.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies