I too am 45. I may come across as being some unbelieveable high sex crazed lunatic, but I am not. I would actually say that my sex drive is AVERAGE compared to other men I know. And actually, when I talk about sex on these boards, I am really talking about Affection AND Sex. It just comes across always as sex. I am a bit unusual in that I include affection in my top 5 needs, which the average man does not. My top 3 needs are #1 Sexual Fullfillment, #2 Affection, and #3 Recreational Companionship. My wife does not meet ANY of these needs.
Now you mention that your looking for more affection. So am I. But I like many other guys that are married to ND women, the affection has died as well as the sex. They can go hand-in-hand. My wife NEVER touches me. I touch her. My wife has not kissed me in many months. She ACTS like an OLD WOMAN. Physical touch is obviously NOT her love language. I actually want the touching more then anything else. Again, it all comes back to desire, she has none. I have seen MANY marriage like my own. Heck, my mother and father in-law have not slept together in 45+ years. My wife is the kind that thinks that being lovers is for YOUNG people. I currently am lucky if I get sex once a month, and always initiated by me. Had no sex in February. And my wife is OK with this, she openly admits that she would be happy to never have sex again, and yet she completely enjoys it when it does happen. She sees nothing really wrong with her, since most of her female friends also have very little desire for sex (all from fairly busy family lives).
So , please, do not think I am about sex only. I want affection as much as the sex, but problems with one likely spill over into the other.
