Thats not what dbing is all about. Its not about keeping your mouth shut and rolling over. Its about becoming your best self. Its about becoming strong. So that you do things differently then you did before if you need to. Its about changing those things that YOU think need changing. It isnt about allowing him to do whatever he wants. Its about accepting that this is his choice and that you are going to live your life in the best way you know how.
About the lights, you allowed him to walk away without putting things away because you feel he should know to do that. But that didnt get the lights put away. So, you had two choices. You could have said something in a way that wasnt patronizing. "I would appreciate it if you help put the boxes away before you go as it is difficult for me to maneuver them." or you put them away. Your choice.
You are allowing him to take advantage of you, S. You have the power to stop that. You have to act from a place of strenght, not fear.
I'm so glad uR said this cause what I was gonna say was similar. Can you print her response and use it as the background on your phone?
About boundaries with D and H and squabbling in your presence.
"D and H, when you quarrel like this it makes me uncomfortable and sad. I'm going to my room and give you privacy to work this out."
And go to your room.
You'll have to do this every time in order to protect yourself. It may effect their behavior in may not, that's not the point. You're removed from the fray.
Bury your victim.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
