Jim0987 #6 - starting a bit of a rebuild

[jim0987]

The more I think about it the more crazy this whole thing is. The whole situation that is.

On this mornings stuff (and on reflection) I was hacked off that she was out all night again and because of the circumstances and what else I know has happened since BD that means with another man (which one only she knows). It annoys me because

- shes my wife even if she doesn't think she is,
- she finds it so easy to find new partners
- she clearly doesn't care about me
- i be spent 3 years crying out for her affection and having mine refused/rejected.
- I would love her to have stayed out late with me but she never would
- in terms of frequency of sex she must be at a peak since our honeymoon. Meanwhile I'm feeling the enforced abstinence

So all in I feel pretty solidly rejected. As a result rather than ignore it I used questions (and convinced myself they were innocent questions) to push her into a corner where she either had to lie or tell me what she had been doing. And the lies she went with had holes, not that dishonesty is new for her.

All of this I guess is me manipulating her to feel bad because I felt rejected which is basically the same nonsense I was pulling in our relationship. Not kissing her in the morning because she had made me late for work etc. Etc. Etc.

This is not the way to persuade her our R is worth saving.

Feeling rejected, particular in favour of soneobe else, is my biggest trigger and this is the most spectacular of rejections I've encountered

End lesson is 'STFU Jim!!!!'

Although the 180 of making sure what I say seems genuine and makes her feel good. No idea how to do that.