I am working on being the best parent (we are a lesbian couple) I can be. I am spending way more time with my kids and their school projects, play time, play dates, birthday parties, laundry, etc... I can honestly say I am better and more involved parent now. I have a better relationship with both of my kids.
No, everything she says is not gospel, I know that. She does love being in charge and telling me what to do however. She has told me that she has been unhappy for years and now that she has her affair partner, she has the courage to leave. WTF. I have spent our 19 year relationship/marriage trying to make her happy so that really hurts.She actually said "enjoy watching me leave". Why does it have to be so hateful and mean?"
I can control only me and am keeping all communication short and business like. We were communicating via texts, emails, phone calls, and a flurry of half baked communication which led to frustration and confusion. Communicating via emails prevents me from losing my cool which is a positive step. I have requested we only email now. That feels like I am more in control and can communicate more effectively. She is also mad that we argued and fought pretty awfully when she told me that she was having an affair. Isn't that how everyone reacts when they are told their wives are having affairs?
I can't control her or her affair. I hate every single aspect of that situation but it is out of my hands. I admit I am a jealous person. I can't control that she is living in an apartment and away from the family.
I am working on being more social and have joined meetup. I am forcing myself to get out of the house and do things that I enjoy, either with friends or by myself. I am learning to face my fears about trusting myself and putting myself out there more. It is hard for me as I have paid 100% attention to my wife and family and making our life work (bills, career, etc...). She of course has lots of friends and has no problems socializing.
