still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

Well - a couple christmas parties coming up for W. She'll be spending the nights away.

I know what this has meant before, I know she has lied to me before when she has stayed the night for business. I know the consistent lies and avoidance of any story makes me not trust her.

I have not forgotten - I wish I have. Does she think that I believed her lies or have forgotten? - I don't know. She hasn't even asked me to trust her. I don't even know if she thinks that this should be addressed - she doesn't seem to care how I feel. I feel like a fool just thinking about this.

This will be a test for me. I know I shouldn't ask her anything about this. I know I shouldn't remind her of the lies she has told me. This will be a tough one.

I don't know for certain what her status is with me or OM - only my strong feelings that this isn't going to be good.

What can I do? I will try to block these thoughts out. Act strong. Act as though it is all fine. Will this make her think that I am accepting it? I've stated my boundaries - will she test them?

I know thes are all what-ifs, but I haven't been in this position for a while.