Diary of SuperDave (HD and still rising)

[Aquarian]

I have just read Aquarian's amazing success story. I want my W to read the book preferably with me but I need to find the right time to introduce it.

Wow! Thank you Dave! Lina posted about her experience having a heart-to-heart and I really agree with everything she said. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend you do.

Love - Improve myself enough that W tells me that she loves me without being asked. This would be a major landmark. I'm not kidding. I long to hear those words. Please God I need to hear those words.

*Big hugs* for you. Improve yourself for you. Don't do it just for her sake! We tend to attract people more when we feel good about ourselves. Feel good about who you are. Love yourself and treat yourself well. Does she know how important those 3 words are to you? You may want to read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman next.

Everything was going well but we had to spend a few weeks apart. When we got back together things were much more difficult. Previously when we were in bed together we just seemed to do it as if it was the most natural thing.

What were the circumstances of this few weeks apart? Were there any hard feelings about having to be apart? Is there any chance that she may have felt threatened by this in any way?

I am going to arrange to have a vasectomy. I mentioned it to W last night. I don’t think she could see the point as we are 46 and our chances of conceiving are low but when I asked her if she would be happy to ML unprotected she said "No Way!" I am happy that I am taking action at last instead of just thinking about it.

Congratulations! Actually, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think 46 decreases your chances of conceiving. The chances of the baby's health and a problem free birth are decreased, but she can still get pregnant if the timinig is right. Did you ask why having unprotected sex was such a no-no? Why did she have such a negative answer? Does she question your fidelity?

The doc told me that in some people the sperm that cannot escape buld up pressure and it is like having been kicked in the balls after ejaculating.

Hmmmmm, this contradicts what my H was told. He was told sperm that cannot escape is reabsorbed by the body. Made sense to me. My H had a No-Scalpel Vasectomy in October and it was virtually pain free, his words. Research that option as my H was very impressed. I thought I'd also mention that he insisted on getting a vasectomy. His reasoning was that I had the pregnancies and gave birth, so it was his turn! Oh and for the record, he has never felt like he was kicked in the balls after ejaculating.

My job now is to get W to go to see the doctor. I feel I must do this at all cost. W might listen to a female doctor and it might just get the ball rolling. If she would agree to have a coil fitted then that would show real commitment but I can only dream about that for now.

I agree, she needs to see the doctor, but be very careful! The more you insist the more resistant she may become. I suggest getting her in by fibbing a bit and saying the doctor wants to discuss the vasectomy details with her. Even if you end up going to another doctor for the vasectomy (which by the sounds of it, I hope you do!), at least this doctor knows of the situation and is willing to help with the psychobabble end!

I remember walking into my house literally 30 minutes after the surgery, and my wife taking me into the bedroom, dropping my pants and performing oral on me.

Father_of_Three, most women realize that a vasectomy is a huge deal. I believe that was her way of thanking you for taking the responsibility. Can you lovingly bring that up with her? Ask her what went wrong.