Ok team. I'm trying to follow the advice to post here first before responding to H. Feeling really annoyed. Here's the context: 1. He's pushed back every time we've tried to set a regular schedule. 2. Our draft parenting agreement, which we went over for an hour with the mediator on friday, says that we will split christmas vacation in half-- this year he gets first half, I get second. 3. I had requested 12/27--it's my dads bday. 4. He proposed a schedule for this vacation which would give him 3 nights (12/24, 12/25, 12/28), and me the rest (12/26-27 and 12/28-1/1). 5. I responded (with no emotion or judgement) a different schedule, saying I thought it made sense for us to "test" whether what we plan to agree to will actually work. The plan I proposed gave him evenings of 12/23-25, 12/28-29. Then I had 5 nights as well. 6. Here is his response. I don't know how to respond to this without flipping out. Please help:
Generally, I'm fine with all of your revisions with two caveats.
1) 12/23. I have tickets to a game that evening and cannot take D. I would ask that you take that and I will pick her up from you at 10am on 12/24. I just didn't plan for the mid-week Wednesday when we both still have work.
2) As I had thought you were planning to take D for a more extended period of time, I want to leave the option open for things to fall into place for me to be away the evening of 12/29. I will commit to taking her til at least 4pm that day (I do have work, but will take the day to spend it with her). And I would say it is highly unlikely that anything comes together, in which case, I will commit to the evening of 12/29, too. But I want that possible flexibility that I thought I had in the first place.
Let me know your thoughts. Thanks for your thoughtful response.
Help. The thought of 15 more years of this is really upsetting. How can I get out of this back and forth routine. What would a reasonable compromise look like, and should I propose that? (He gave a proposal, I gave another one, his response is basically back to his original position, claiming that I misled him on the flexibility he thought he would have. I feel stuck and I have spent too much time on this today...
