It is now 9:00 am. and I am feeling more positive again. I did not get any sleep at all last night but lay awake trying to think back to when things started to go wrong. I believe it started when my wife came off the pill. The reasons at the time were perfectly logical. We had been going out for about a year. Everything was going well but we had to spend a few weeks apart and also W found that she was feeling bloated and blamed the pill. I had no problem with her decision at the time. When we got back together things were much more difficult. Previously when we were in bed together we just seemed to do it as if it was the most natural thing. There was no conscious decision, it just happened. Condoms introduced a break in the flow that just didn’t fit in. Instead of just cuddling and finding ourselves making love we had to negotiate and make a decision to do it and of course one partner soon got into the habit of saying “No”. Today I have an appointment with the Doctor and I am going to arrange to have a vasectomy. I mentioned it to W last night and she was OK about it. I don’t think she could see the point as we are 46 and our chances of conceiving are low but when I asked her if she would be happy to ML unprotected she said “No Way!” I am happy that I am taking action at last instead of just thinking about it.
