Oh boy...your W is bouncing all over the place. Her IC is hers alone and for her to figure out with him/her. This is her journey.
I wouldn't offer to extend the lease. If W wants the lease, then it better be in her name only. You need to take care of yourself and S11.
Cannot wait to hear about your GAL activity tonight with your father and son.
You're doing really, really well under very difficult circumstances. Frankly, I don't think I'd DB as well as you have so far.
The next time W asks what she's done to you...blah, blah...respond, "It is not pleasant to seeing our family blown apart with your ongoing affair that you refuse to end by choice. Of course, I am very sad about all of this and never wanted a S or D. I do hope you can figure this out. In the meantime, I am focused on protecting myself and S11 from this fall out."
