It's 4:30 am and I've been on the SSM forum for two hours now. I couldn't sleep. I spent all day at work reading and posting. I bought SSM yesterday and have read it through. I will start re-reading it more carefully tomorrow. I am in a highly motivated state. I have just read Aquarian's amazing success story. I want my W to read the book preferably with me but I need to find the right time to introduce it. She dismisses this sort of thing as "Psychobabble" I get the message that what I have been doing for the last 22 years has not worked so I have to change. I take on board what Carlotta says is a perfect LD's marriage and I can now see areas I can improve (I couldn't earlier in the day). Such as: SEX - Stop worrying about it every second of the day. Shopping - Try to go on shopping trips and actually participate. Anger - Don't get cross with W and children. Housework - Think I'm OK as I do quite a lot. Hobbies - Take more interest in her stuff. Try to find an activity that is completely new to us (salsa for example). Conversation - Don't switch off after the first three words of her sentence. Soaps - Stop continually commenting on the weakness of the plot and pointing out what other programs actors have been in. HD/LD - Stop believing everything I think is right and everything she thinks is wrong.
I guess I need to list my goals. SEX - Why did I start with that one? Time span - I made a New Year's resolution to improve my marriage (Actually the resolution was to have sex every calendar month for the whole year but as two months have gone by and I have so far only managed half-a-sex I have changed it) Love - Improve myself enough that W tells me that she loves me without being asked. This would be a major landmark. I'm not kidding. I long to hear those words. Please God I need to hear those words. Those three words that I find so easy to say to her but can only remember hearing once before. ----- I am crying at this point -----
I can't think of any other goal, I have to stop typing now...
