I can understand that you might find OM attractive as a proposition. That you are flirting can be good harmless fun. As you are here to try DB and work on your M then of course you may want to examine why you feel that way. It is just passing distraction or a real temptation even if you are not going to act on it?
I still feel that the alcohol issue needs to be addressed. You can go to Alanon on your own without your H going to AA. I really urge you to do that as the support you get will be amazing. Heavy drinkers can have some very serious issues with intimacy and depression is almost a given in this situation.
It is not unusual for compulsives to reject spouses merely because their presence is a break on their addiction. It is likely that your H behaviour is nothing to do with you. But you might be enabling H in his drinking.
I want you to have the help you need and the good folks on this forum will be invested in you not your H.
Six months with a compulsive and limited practical support can be damaging. So if we are going to concentrate on you, then can you discuss being controlling with us please?
Can you outline in which ways you are controlling?
Can you be very specific and full in your outline, it would be good to start by telling us when the controlling started and a little of your family background, how you and H met and how you interact.
What are the results of your controlling behaviour, what have you done so far to make changes and how has that worked?
Sounds to me like you are doing well dealing with some aspects of your sitch. Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/09/1406:19 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
