Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[labug]

I've wondered how things were with you. Of course the intent to file was a jolt, you've both been in holding pattern for what, a year.

What's good about this that you want to hold on to?

- trying to stay focused on the fact that a failed marriage doesn't necessarily mean that I have to do through the rest of my life w/o a meaningful relationship and someone to share my life with.

Tough question: what have you changed about you that will be attractive to the kind of woman you might may be interested in?

trying very hard to not feel guilty or like a failure due to the fact that W is not willing/able to try and repair the R. that truly is her choice that she gets to make and at some point will have to deal with (as much pain as it causes me and others it still is her choice)

You're not a failure. The marriage failed. Learn from this and if you haven't let go, do.

On these boards oftentimes the LBS gets to the point when they're done, understandably. We pat them on the back, support them, etc. The reality is, the WAS got there, too. Just before we did.

She's not doing this TO you or the kids. She doesn't seem from what you've written, like a mean, destructive person. She's just done.

Let her be done.

I know these things intellectually but at times still can't quite shake the "feelings" described above......

And that's OK, but they don't have to define you. Recognize that you feel sad, are grieving. I have a "feeling" that you've lived much of your life very out of touch with your feelings.

Get to know yourself.

I guess that's just part of the process and healing that needs to take place.

mmm-Hmmm

((( )))