Inside my chrysalis 9

[Georgiabelle]

SS,

You have received some fantabulous advice! Your D sounds like an amazing kid and I can relate to some of your frustrations. Hopefully, with testing you figure out some better ways to handle certain situations. I'll just toss some thoughts out there..,.

I hear a great deal of," h gave me a year to fix this." I'm going to say something not intended to be snark. Big news. You can't *fix* this. You can work on you and make SS all that and a bag of chips. You cannot fix the M. That alone puts you in a terrible predicament with that mode of thinking. I felt pressure just reading that and you are just being set up for failure and you my dear are anything but that . I'm not saying your h is pressuring you-in saying you've bought into that way of thinking. If this m doesn't work, you failed. Nooooooo! You are a survivor and a thriver!!! You have been through so much in your life and you are evolving each day. Trust me. I get that your h isn't here to save the M and that you are. As discussed before, sometimes one can DB until the cows come home ( why did those cows run away??did they leave for those elusive greener pastures too?) but there are things out of our control.

From my perspective, you seem so very engaged with h. Helping him find stuff. Trying to calm him down. Thinking that if things are *this way*, he will be happy. Pull back. You aren't his keeper. Be cordial and pleasant. Focus on you and your daughter. Your h is a big boy and your job is not be his mother. Isn't that sort of what one of his complaints was? You controlled everything???

You are doing great. You really are. For your benefit though, I suggest pulling back big time. You watch his movements and words waaaay too closely.

Everything will fall into place as it should. There is very little I'm positive of in life and that I am. Have a great day:-)