Jim0987 #6 - starting a bit of a rebuild

[edz]

Have to say that back in July/August when I was in the 'woe-is-me-wailly-wailly-wailly' phase I'd have done or said anything to have W back no matter what exactly as before. Now, I've stopped saying I want her back more that I want her to move forward with me, semantics? Maybe, but I think it sums up that we both (all considering S has input here too) need to work on the relationship we want. If W doesnt want that then I will need to take time and space to heal and then find someone who does.

Not saying you're in the same boat Jim, our sitches are different but I know to get even to this point of detachment I had to search myself uncomfortably and ask was I happy before BD, blissfully ignorant maybe, but happy? The answer there, honestly, is no.I was lonely even before she left as I felt sidelined and pushed away and frustrated at not being able to get through to her.

Not saying you are in the same boat mate, we have very, very different sitches on the go but before you beat yourself up about not having the person you married be careful to consider the person she was just before BD not the one on wedding day. Look to what you could become if she chooses to work on it so to speak.

Just my 2c (well 1p) of course