Thanks T2 and Jack, What is a "timely manner" and what about them having to actually try? I mean if I was trying to reach someone and left a message and they didn't get back I would at least try their home number! As for getting a new lawyer, I can't afford one. Hell, I can't afford electricity! Not sure what I want to do. What I CAN do. Lawyer never called back. Not good, think that means he's done.
Picked up D14 from school today. Seems she heard her mothers spew at me and was upset about it. Her mom is just so crazy. Next week is D14's birthday, then X-mass after. W is just so stuck in her own world of thinking only of herself. I truly grieve for my D's, both of them. D14 also is upset because she loves her grandmother (my MIL) and hates how W has abandoned her and treats her fathers OW (now wife) more like a mother than her real mother. Amazing how the MLC just is so blind to the hurt they cause, how they just don't care even when they aren't blind to it. My W was so afraid of hurting other people in the past, now she doesn't care if she does or doesn't as long as she's getting what SHE wants, doing what she wants to do.
I no longer believe that she will ever come back. My hope is gone. I just need to start seeing her for who she really is....NOW. Forget the old her, forget the old R. I'll remember the good times of course. I'll share the stories with my kids of when things were good, when we were a family. How I loved their mother and them. I will watch them make families of their own. Make their mistakes and have their triumphs and I will always be part of their lives. I wasted so much of my life trying to understand how my W, the woman who swore we would grow old together, who I promised to love forever, disappeared before my eyes. I tried to do what I could for her but she can't escape the demons in her head. My fear is gone. Sure, I'm still very worried about how I will make it now that I let myself believe that she would be there for me like I was for her. I worry about how her actions will affect my D's (Just today D14 was saying how her mom was always so body conscious, so worried about her being "fat" or unattractive and it made her feel like if her mom, as thin and beautiful as she was, thought she was fat and unattractive, she must be huge and hideous. She said she's now "so over that". I'm so proud of her!). I'm sure I will find someone again, maybe this time someone able to love me back without the inability to "trust". A "drama free" R...that would be something to behold.
