[BrightFuture]

New thread, hopefully new phase for me.

Link to the last one:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2490683&page=10

From my previous thread:

Bright,
It's not over until the fat lady sings and from where I'm sitting, I don't think he's going to do much of anything because he's very content w/the way things are working for him.

Yes, it looks like he is very content with the thing as they are right now. He is in a bubble.

As for D papers, unless you file them, I don't get a sense of him doing that from your postings.

I agree with this too, unfortunately. I am pretty much resigned to the thought that I will have to file when I’m ready.

You are still searching for signs of him waking up. As I pointed out earlier, he may very well be a turtle in this race and it could take him some time to get to the other side.

Yes, I think I am still searching for the signs. Like I mentioned before, he is very stubborn when he makes a decision. And this decision is a big one. It would take a miracle or a major disaster for him to think about changing his mind.

Don't get discouraged, look at this situation a different way, it's given you an opportunity to try new things, make new friends and you've gotten a job that you like. It's given you an opportunity to find yourself too. If your h sat down and spoke w/you today, he would see a different Bright, a more independent and stronger Bright. You would be a stranger to him, just as he is to you right now.

Thank you, job, for the words of support. I really need them now.

So, for now, let him go. Allow the man upstairs to have him for a while. Your focus has to be on number one...YOU!

This is what I’ve been trying to do for the last couple of weeks. As I mentioned in my previous thread, I’m pretty sure H got someone, whether it is just a female friend in a category of “one of the boys”, or a more serious interest, IDK. So, I’ve been pretty much trying to come to the terms with what might be the news about potential ow. And, I’ve been actually making some good progress with this. I feel like I actually started to let go. I’m sad, moody, depressed, but I just don’t feel much emotion when I think about possible ow. It’s like “whatever”. I know that I will cycle again, but I take this time to re-evaluate what I actually want in the future.

I thought I was doing well until today… I sent H an e-mail yesterday asking him to send me an updated company file, because I need to do an Invoice for my on-the-side consulting work. I didn’t even think about how to word it or anything. I just don’t care anymore how it sounds, as long as I get what I need. I actually used the same style as H wrote to me, ending it with “Hope all is well with you”, LOL.

So, I get two e-mails back from H. One with the file. It was worded differently. Not in an official style he normally uses (his polite style), but kind of a casual, like we are buddies. Here is the text:
“Here you go Bright. Please send it back as soon as you do something, as I need to do some invoicing as well.
Thanks,
H”

And another e-mail, addressed to me and our mutual friends (H and W). My e-mail was not on CC, but actually appeared to be selected first. There was a link to the U-tube with the video of a dog doing some home chores. It is called “You would want this dog...” There was a comment in this e-mail from H that he thinks that our female friend needs that dog. Wow, it has been some time since H sent me any jokes via e-mail. In the past, he sent a few jokes, but I was always CCed, not on a To list. So I didn’t reply to these e-mails. Today, I felt quite at ease, so I replied to everyone with the joke.

Like I said I thought I was doing great in terms of further detaching. This thing kind of set me back a little. I know that it probably means nothing. But, the wheels in my head started to spin again. Why did he send me this e-mail? Is he getting more comfortable now because he’s got a GF? What does he want from me? Is he getting comfortable to be friends now? What’s changed? I’m really confused about the two e-mails now.

Anyway, I’m not expecting any reply, except maybe from my friends. I don’t need to get this into my head. I need to continue on my path to more detachment. Thanks for reading.